Evan Gattis Bat...And Chat

[DOUGHBOYS]

The 'chat' in drafts sometimes cracks me up.
First, I love the chat option. Especially when drafting with 'friends' that you've drafted with before.
It's good to catch up with these friends that most of us have never seen in person.
I look forward to the Mia Draft and others like it because those are friends of many, many years.

What cracks me up are the drafters in the 'wild hair' drafts.
You know, you get a wild hair and decide to join a draft and it is virtually 15 strangers.
Many personalities emanate in the chat room.
There is the cocaine driven drafter that can't have a fast enough pace.
The yoga instructor trying to talk him down.
The 'hurry up and wait' drafter. This drafter encourages others to get their picks in, so he can make others wait while pondering his own pick.


My favorite is the 'Nice Liar'
This drafter only makes 'nice' comments.
'Good Pick' is his favorite weapon of choice, but of course, it goes beyond that.
'Possible 30-30 guy'
'Could be the steal of the draft'
'Gattis? He could have more homers than any other Catcher this year'
'Peraza? He could steal as many bases as Hamilton and Gordon this year'

I call him the 'Nice Liar' because the comments are meant to bolster the opposing drafter.
It may even lead other drafters to think more highly of the players he mentions.
All the while, the real question is never asked of the Nice Liar.....
"If he's so good, why didn't YOU take him?"
The Nice Liar would just come up with a lie as not to offend somebody...
'He didn't fit in my strategy'
I have that position covered'
Something along those lines to give the impression that the only reason the other drafter got such a great player is because the Nice Liar couldn't make him fit on his team.

There is the 'Negative Guy' too.
If anybody touts any player, 'Negative Guy' is there to talk him down.
He thinks of Mike Trout as a hands first slider instead of a wonderful ball player.
He thinks of Clayton Kershaw's back, not his arm.
If a player has had five straight years of quality stats, he'll talk about six years ago.

Nice Liar and Negative Guy never get along...

Nice Liar: "Gattis? He could have more homers than any other catcher this year"

Negative Guy: "He hardly even catches! The Astros have too many good hitters to let him DH against most right handers"

Nice Liar: "In that lineup, if he does hit 30 homers, he'll get over 100 rbi and runs"

Negative Guy; "How can he hit 30 homers when he won' be playing most of the time"

(It is now that another chatter joins the conversation....Mr. Numbers)

Mr. Numbers: Actually, (Numbers folks use this word a lot, because numbers never lie, they are always actual)
Gattis DID hit 32 home runs in 2016, but he scored more runs from those homers than other Astros driving him in.
He scored a total of 58 runs on the year"

Nice Liar: "Yeah, but this Astros team is better"

Negative Guy: "Yeah, but Gattis is two years older and his best skill is ass-sitting"

Mr. Numbers: He did play 153 games in 2015"

Nice Liar: "He would hit 50 homers if he played 153 games this year!

Negative Guy: He'll have trouble getting 153 at bats!"

Mr. Numbers: Even with his tendency of ass-sitting, Gattis has never had less than 300 at bats"

Nice Liar: Gattis just looks like he'll hit a home run every time he's up"

Negative Guy: Are we drafting players for looks?

(Enter the 'Forever Jr. High Guy')

Forever Junior High Guy:" Who let the gay guy in this draft? So you like Gattis big stick?

Mr. Numbers: Actually, Gattis uses the same weight bat as most ball players"

Forever Junior High Guy: "You must be gay too if all you're thinking about is the size of his big stick"

Negative Guy: The only one mentioning a 'big stick' has been you. Maybe you have some underlying feelings that you'd like to talk about?"

We've all seen similar type conversations and drafters.
We never know what we'll see in chat.
We do know some of the characters though.
They may be under different names, but the characters hardly ever change.

[Edwards Kings]

Actually, couldn't give a damn THIS year if Gattis doesn't catch 20 games THIS year. He caught 49 games LAST year. I just want him to get at least 75% of the DH AB. Actually.