Phrases from Fantasy

[DOUGHBOYS]

A few of the weird and wonderful things thought, heard, and said in Fantasy Baseball....

'Just suck till Sunday, then you can hit like I know you can!'-

The thought of a faaber who has found a 'secret weapon'.

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'LEAVE HIM IN!'-

Words heard as a starter is pinch hit for while down 1-0 in the seventh inning.

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'TAKE HIM OUT!'-

Words heard as a starter has already given up seven runs and 10 hits in the third inning.

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'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PUHLEEEEESE TAKE HIM OUT!'

Same guy, two batters later.

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'How is your fantasy team doing?'

The wife says this when informing her that you have 'work' to do on the computer.

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'He's a freakin' Bench Star!'-

A player who only performs well if he is benched on your team.

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'That ass****!'-

Same player, after being dropped and playing well for another team in your league.

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'Hey, at least I got the W!'-

The Silver Lining Guy-
This is said after taking a risky two-start pitcher and seeing ERA and WHIP rise to new heights.

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'Why in the Hell does he bring in MY Closer with a four run lead!'-

Every fantasy baseball player in the universe has uttered these words.
Right, Heath Bell owners?

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'I can't believe my leadoff guy has been moved to the 8-spot!'-

This is said when the real life Manager realizes that the leadoff man has been sucking before the fantasy owner realizes the same thing.

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'If given playing time, Brandon Belt will bring baseball to it's very knees with his prowess!'

RotoWorld

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'If anybody can strike out God, he can!'-

Gekko, talking of Trevor Bauer.

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'God yes, Bryce Harper, no.'-

Outlaw

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[ToddZ]

WHAT THE F%#K?!?!?!

What you say when you see a team has 14 runs and 17 hits, but the only guy you have went 0-5 with 2 K's
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PLEASE GIVE UP A RUN

What you say when you have the closer on a team with a 4-run lead in the 8th and a lesser set up man is brought in

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YOU ASSCLOWN

What you say when said set up man gives up 4 runs

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STRIKE OUT YOU IDIOT

What you say when that team has a 3-run lead in the 8th with a runner on 3rd and 2 out

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PLEASE LET THEM BE UNEARNED

What you say when the line score shows the final to be an 8-3 loss, but there is at least 1 error

[DOUGHBOYS]

Another couple spoken while watching the Rangers play Oakland last night...

Owning Coco Crisp...

Go on this pitch...damn...ok, so go on this pitch....damn....so go on this pitch....damn...ok so go on this pitch...There he goes!....Dammit Weeks, what're you swingin' for? He had that stolen!
Ok there he goes again! He's got it!.....ok, now steal third....

Owning Michael Young...

For the Love of God, do something!....Man, if the Rangers had signed Prince, you probably wouldn't even be starting.....Fifth round, I took him in the fifth round, DOH!!....He's not Michael Young, he's Michael Old!

Owning Mike Napoli....

Where's Napoli?......He plays first, he dh's and he still gets more 'rest' than most catchers....NAPoli is more like it!.....

Owning Brian Fuentes....

There's Fuentes warming up, that reminds me, I have to get rid of him this Sunday....

Owning Joe Nathan...

Here comes Nathan....At home.....Against the weak hitting A's....Should be a piece of cake....Why can't I stop twitching?....Oh crap, that's a baserunner.....Dammit! Another!......Whew! He got the save!......I knew it was in the bag!