What's That Timmy? Lassie's in the Well?

[DOUGHBOYS]

Magazines in America are dying a slow death.
No magazine is immune.
It's too bad.
I'm still more comfortable reading from paper than I am a screen. But, I'm an old geezer and guessing I'm in the minority.
The funniest magazine cover I ever saw was the 'National Lampoon' cover of January, 1973.
If somebody can produce a picture here, I would be grateful.
It has a dog, whose eyes are looking at a gun pointed at its head.
The words off to the side are-

'If You Don't Buy This Magazine, We'll Shoot This Dog'

It's almost 40 years later, and it still makes me laugh.

Anyway, it is with that thought that we go with this premise....
I will go into 10 wrongs or questions that are being perpetrated by Major League teams or a question that can only be answered by your head, not your heart....
Sure, these teams may have ulterior motives for making blatantly wrong decisions and you may think about the hypotheticals, but, if a gun were held to their dog's head, I think the right decision can be made......

1. Gun to your dog's head, losing the game means losing the dog....
Does Arizona start Joe Saunders or Trevor Bauer?
Yep, me too.

2. Gun to your dog's head, you can keep a straight face while stating this...
Bruce Chen is our ace.
Jonathon Sanchez is our ace.
Luke Hochevar is our ace.
Pick any of the above....
No fair, you already laughed.

3. Gun to your dog's head, do you stand by the 'injury does not mean losing your job' rule?
Drew Storen comes back, is he the closer?

4. Gun to your dog's head, you have confidence in his next outing.
Tim Lincecum.
For Mrs. Lincecum, a tough choice.

5. Gun to the dog's head, middle of an AL East lineup or batting seventh for the Padres.
Hidecki Matsui.
You know it's true, your dog's depending on you.

6. Gun to your dog's head, Gio Gonzalez just won game six of the World Series.
Do you pitch Stephen Strasburg, who is already 20 innings over his 'season limit' or Jordan Zimmerman in Game Seven.

7. Gun to your dog's head, if Joe Mauer were only U available position-wise...
Would you draft him before Billy Butler?
Your dog is trembling....

8. Gun to your dog's head, end of the regular season...
Bryce Harper is hitting in the top third, middle, end, or not in the lineup at all.
It's your dog.

9. Gun to your dog's head, seventh game of the World Series and you're managing the Bravess...
5-5 in the seventh inning, how soon before we see Kimbrel?
Arf!

10. Gun to your dog's head, if a prisoner of war, and they put one voice over a loud speaker over and over again...
Would you choose Ozzy Osborne or Ozzie Guillen.
If it were up to me, I'd tell them to spare the dog.
Shoot me.

[buster h]

dog.jpg (10.67 KiB) Viewed 1412 times

[DOUGHBOYS]

PERFECT!
THANK YOU!

Still gets me....