Arnie did it Carrying a Cigarette From Hole to Hole

[DOUGHBOYS]

Somebody asked me, derisively, the other day if a Fantasy Ball Player is an athlete.
I knew he golfed, so I replied, "No, I would call a fantasy player a 'Mathlete', probably in the same class as a golfer".
I got the reaction I was looking for. He ended his rant asking what my definition of an athlete was.
"An athlete is somebody who excels at a sport. A sport where fundamentals are learned through childhood and teenage years, so that during the productive ages of the 20's and 30's, one can excel before the body starts deteriorating. Most 'athletes' retire in their 40's.
They don't continue driving around an oval track.
They don't throw a three holed ball down a lane.
And they don't wait to turn 50 so they can join a Seniors Tour.

NOW, he was pissed.
"People pay good money to see these ATHLETES! Are they wrong? All these guys are paid millions of dollars for people to see them perform!
I responded, "Great, then that makes Barry Manilow an ATHLETE."

I said, "Look, you're the one who started this. I have no inclination to think that I am an athlete because of following baseball stats. At the same time, I can go on a long stroll every day and take some cuts in a batting cage and get the same exercise as a golfer.
AND, they do it in ugly pants!
You can't wear slacks and be an athlete at the same time!
Have you seen Craig Stadler?
An ATHLETE has speed and power and displays it on the field of competition.
If a golfer was timed and ran the course while still hitting the same shots with people screaming, not dead silence and polite golf claps, THEN I may think that golfers were athletes".

What do you guys think?
Am I off base?
I went a little far in my rant since he asked for it, I know.
But, is a golfer an athlete?

[Ando]

I golf once a year, Dan. Same charity event. I am awful. Could hit a baseball/softball hard as hell and a country mile, but never could transistion my baseball swing to a golf swing. And now married with a family there's no time to figure out how to do it! So I say all of this without my putter in hand or my scorecard from today's round sitting on the table next to me.

Don't underestimate the hand-eye coordination needed to excel at golf. It also helps to be strong and in somewhat decent physical condition. Try walking a championship course for 18 holes....not as flat as they probably are in the flats of Grand Junction! Not to mention the hours and hours of practice that the general public rarely is privy to witnessing.

I do understand what you are saying and the stance you took in your conversation. It's kinda of a grey area as is stock car driving, etc. However, I would tend to grant the benefit of the doubt and crown them half-letes. How's that? Nice grey area answer for ya. Truth be told, you two could argue for days on-end and not get much farther than you were when you started.

As for your title of this thread.....if it was politically correct, Mark Grace woulda burned a smoke a inning if he could!

[rockitsauce]

the human beatbox Doug E. Fresh said it best back in the day, "I'm not soft and I don't play golf"

[G1AZM]

Ten years ago I played softball fairly well and still was able to lug my near 300 lbs up and down a basketball court without much trouble. I also golfed regularly but not very well.

Now, I haven't played softball or hoops for at least 5 years and the thought of trying to jump right back into an "athletic" endeavor like that would be a recipe for near certain injury. My "athletic" performance would certainly leave a great deal to be desired even if I were to avoid injury. It would take me weeks, if not months, or preparation and work to be able to consider trying to "compete" in either of those sports again. Oh, and by the way, my golf game is now much improved. I also am pretty highly skilled in poker and backgammon.