Harpages

[DOUGHBOYS]

I haven't harped on my most unfavorite fantasy wordage lately.
I'll call it 'Harpage'.
I like harpage cuz you know what I mean and I like pissing off my spell checker and I know that word will be underlined. Almost like it is giving me the finger for its usage.
So nah-ner-nah-ner spell checker!
Cool, it gave me the finger for nah-ner-nah-ner.
Almost like it knows me!
Anyway, here are a few harpages, with some analogies to follow....

So.....How are your 'projections' going?
It is this time of year, where I think about folks who make projections. By now, those 30 players who were supposed to give the projectionist his set numbers, have had an injury or under performance.
Ironic, in that under performance is never projected.
Projections are made in the land of hope. A land where nobody is hurt and everybody performs as expected....or even better.
A fantasy within the fantasy.
This land is inevitably swept over and hit with a tidal wave. Rendering projections useless and seeing us scrambling for our faab lives.
Projections are like shaking hands with Jennifer Aniston and projecting we'll be bedding her within a week.
A fantasy in and of itself.
We all dream of bedding Jennifer, just as we dream of the pristine draft, but projecting it?
That takes some cajones for a girl who has already shunned Brad Pitt.
Unfortunately, reality kicks our ass and neither are obtainable. Jennifer says "No Freakin way, Jerk!"
And our players will say the same.

Some drafters called 'value' when getting Carlos Santana in the fourth round or Brian McCann in the sixth. Of course as I've harped, there is no 'value' on draft day. The same drafters may have taken Pierzynski or Ruiz as an afterthought. But, THAT is where they got their true value.
At least for now.
The analogy here would be that Santana and McCann are the beautiful girl we take out on a date, only to be cornered all night listening to how wonderful she was, is, and will be in the future.
We listen to that jive all night, knowing we're not getting lucky.
Pierzynski and Ruiz, are the girl next door we took for granted. Looking at her close up, we do a V-8 head slap and wonder why we didn't see the beauty before.

Ryan Raburn was thought to be a 'sleeper' with his powerful spring training. Now, two months into the season, he is down in the minors after only managing one home run during the regular season.
Adam Lind was thought to be a 'sleeper' too. Paul Goldschmidt....Ike Davis...Mike Carp...Mat Gamel
We stink of sleepers....and most sleepers do the same.
The analogy?
We go to the Dollar Store. On the top shelf are Doritos with a 'BEST IF OPENED BY DECEMBER 10, 2012'
On the bottom shelf with more than half the cost knocked off are the old Doritos.
These Doritos have a 'BEST IF OPENED BY MAY 7, 2005.
Before we open those Doritos, we convince ourselves that the preservatives will have more than done their job.
And like a can of tuna bought 25 years ago, miraculously, they are edible.
But, after looking at them, we want to throw up.
Raburn, Lind, and others have the same effect.

Some like to say that Bryce Harper after just a months worth of games in 'on pace' to do this or that.
Even the words 'on pace' infers that that pace can never be kept up.
After winning the first game of the year, nobody ever says 'The Colts are 'on pace' to go undefeated'.
The stupidity of that comment is the same as the Harper comment.
Harper has yet to hit the inevitable slump that comes to most young hitters. He hasn't gone through the dog days that brings some kids to their knees. He hasn't faced even half the teams in the league yet.
But, some like their 'on paces'.
A bank robber screams, "This is a hold up! Put all the money in these bags!"
After three minutes, he is 'on pace' to get away with a lot of money. Unfortunately, he still has to deal with a lot more obstacles. Like Harper, he doesn't want to think about 'on pace'. They just want the rest of the plan to go as smoothly as the first 30 days for Harper and first three minutes for the bank robber.
The analogy here separates if Harper and the bank robber are both unsuccessful.
Harper still gets the money, the bank robber gets 25 years.


Our hobby is crawling with 'experts'. Most are simply writers, who are pushed by sites, channels, publishers and others as 'experts'. I don't blame these so called 'experts' themselves. It's not as if these guys go around thumping their chest and saying, "You know I'm an expert, right?"
The NFBC itself has experts by the boatload. These are experts, not 'experts'.
Shawn Childs was an expert, now he is an 'expert'.
Has Shawn changed?
No.
Just his podium.
The analogy for this comes off a sign I saw at a 'Jimmy Johns sandwich shop'.
It said simply,
'It took a team of 'experts' to build the Titanic.
One guy, built an Ark.'

[headhunters]

i even know of an expert that wrote a whole article in the preseason predicting the white sox were going to be the worst team in baseball. they still might be- but for now they are "on pace" to win 90 games. side note- what is it about playing in boston that the pitcher has to constantly skake his head. like lacky and beckett. verlander to " the wall"- gotta shake my head because that homer is an out everywhere else. verlander to his "defense" -gotta shake my head because you guys really suck on defense and we give up 35 outs a game because our defense is awful.

[DOUGHBOYS]

I had to laugh at Leyland the other day. A reporter questioned Detroit's infield defense.
Leyland replied that the defense was average, it was 'the range' that was below average.
It was as if he could separate the two things in his mind and have more peace of mind, with a 'fat' defense rather than one with bad hands.
This goes hand in hand with the Tigers announcers bemoaning how many 'seeing eye' singles are being hit by Tiger opponents.
Those aren't 'seeing eye' singles. Those are ground outs, but with no range, they become singles.

Raburn being sent down, at the least gives them one quality infielder in Santiago.
Detroit is interesting in that they should be ripping that league apart.
If their hitting isn't raking though, they are vulnerable to being an also-ran. Tiger relief has been spotty and their defense, no matter how Leyland wants to quantify it, is downright abysmal.

One more thing....
When we see the names Fielder, Raburn, Peralta, Cabrera, and Avila, we think of mashers.
But, if we look at them first through a defensive eye, and then look at them through a team speed eye, we can see where a lot of the Tigers woes come from.
And, who do they add to this year's mix, next year?
Victor Martinez.