The Opposing Drafters

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DOUGHBOYS
Posts: 13088
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:00 pm

The Opposing Drafters

Post by DOUGHBOYS » Mon Jan 22, 2018 5:09 pm

I think I may have imparted these names a long time ago.
But these are what I call some drafters in my own head.
I can't call them these names in chat during a draft because it would take too long to explain and would probably offend some folks... :D

...

Pedophile-
This is a drafter who won't leave the kids alone. He'll take Amed Rosario. He'll take Acuna. He'll take Verdugo. He can't help himself. The attraction is there. Whether he's a 65 year old on the golf course putting moves on the 16 year old snack girl or whether it is a drafter rostering Acuna, Rosario, Robles, and then takes flyers on AJ Puk and some guy at single A we never heard of, it could all be a little pathetic.

BJ'ed-
This is a drafter who is only after home runs and stolen bases. The other categories be damned!
Instant gratification is good enough.
I want to see my player hit a homer or steal a base!
The other categories will follow!
Byron Buxton, I love you!
Drafting home runs and stolen bases are so much easier than doing research for every category.
When his guy goes 0-12, gets plunked with a pitch and steals second base, victory.

Orgy-
This is when a drafter takes the same player with three consecutive picks
Allen, Giles, and Osuna...yeah, what of it?! Villar, Nunez, DeShields...I've got speed covered!
They overcompensate by surrounding themselves with objects missed earlier in the draft/ life.

Stripped-
I use this one a lot, never on a chat board.
Others call it getting snaked....which sounds maybe, uh, worse.
This is when you're expecting to draft somebody and the fella in front of you does the unspeakable.
He takes your player.
You feel humiliated. Used. Naked. It'll be tough to form any kind of relationship with a player after this episode.
On tilt, we make a bad decision when it comes to the next person we let into our roster/lives.

Doritos-
The height and best of the draft.
In my mind, there are two Doritos this year.
Trout and Altuve.

AARP abusers-
These are drafters who love them some Cabrera, some Braun, even some Sabathia. They've been there and done that.
In this century and the last. And so have their players.
They have a Jamie Moyer baseball card in their wallet.
They eat dinner at 4 PM sharp.

The Master Drafter Crafter-
This is the guy who positionally drafts.
He feels that he'll be shut out of a position if not reaching it as quickly as possible.
His ADP is formulated so as not to miss any position. His infield is done before anybody's.
Then, the outfield. Pitchers? There's plenty of pitchers, I got positions to fill!

The WWF Drafter-
No matter who this guy picks, he's the best player in the world.
Just ask him!
I pity the fool who was brave enough to draft against this guy. During the draft his team is by far better than yours or mine.
Then, the season starts.

The Eddie Haskell Drafter-
Every draft has one. This is the guy who says, 'nice pick!' to everybody.
Meanwhile, he is home in front of his computer laughing at how bad our pick sucked.
Yes, Mrs. Cleaver!

Mr. Numerish-
This is the drafter who will speak numerically after making a pick in telling why his player will do what his player will do.
An OBP, a BABIP, even the number of HR's hit as a little leaguer are all fair game for this drafter.
His numbers are always better than yours.
If not, he will project them to be better than yours.


MR. 30/30-
This drafter selects five players that will be 30/30 guys the coming season.
There has not been a 30/30 player for five years.
That does not matter.
His guys will be 30/30 guys.
He says it and 'owns' it.
That is really easy when you can only be proved wrong much later when nobody cares about the original comment.
On my tombstone-
Wait! I never had the perfect draft!

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NorCalAtlFan
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Re: The Opposing Drafters

Post by NorCalAtlFan » Mon Jan 22, 2018 5:24 pm

A.B.D.

DOUGHBOYS
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Re: The Opposing Drafters

Post by DOUGHBOYS » Mon Jan 22, 2018 5:26 pm

NorCalAtlFan wrote:A.B.D.
I know.
Warned of that :D
On my tombstone-
Wait! I never had the perfect draft!

DOUGHBOYS
Posts: 13088
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:00 pm

Re: The Opposing Drafters

Post by DOUGHBOYS » Mon Jan 22, 2018 5:42 pm

Bryan, the Mia Draft is filled and Rog has the names.
Look for the video soon.
Are you partnering with Stan again this year?
On my tombstone-
Wait! I never had the perfect draft!

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