It's Just Plain Rude! Maybe Even Lewd...

[DOUGHBOYS]

I usually talk about my love for baseball. Either through new stats or old stories. I was asked by a woman last night some of the things I did not like about baseball. This woman was not a baseball sophisticate. I did not want to go in too much detail about some stats or thoughts about some stats that I don't care for.
Instead I decided to answer in what the players do on the field. Not in the box score, but really, what they do on the field.

I told her that I deplore a sloppy chewer. I don't care that a player is hooked on snuff. But dammit, if you're going to partake in the s(t)(n)uff, do it right. Don't have that crap dripping down your chin.

Hand signals after base hits.
They pound their hearts or point to the skies after a base hit or home run.
Why don't they do this after making an out? Does their loved one not care about the outs?
Do they think the loved ones only care about the successes?
Of course, they don't do this for their loved one, it is another look at me moment.
Now, the trend is to have an 'inside' hand signal for your teammates.
So 'inside' that fan's do it as well.
Players can't wait to get on base so they can circle their eyes or have antlers or some other stupid signal that they've accomplished their job.
This also screams, 'LOOK AT ME!'

Adjust your cup already!
Don't make love to yourself. It used to be a quick hand to the crotch, hoping nobody will see.
Now, it's turned from a jiffy lube...
to full service maintenance.


Holding a nostril and blowing snot out the other one.
C'mon man.
You couldn't blow your nose in the locker room?

Hawking.
I never understand why ball players do this.
Worse, it's being carried over to real life.
Going to a convenience store the other day, I noticed the parking lot littered with spit.
It's become an outdoors phenomenon.
At the same time, whistling or spitting through one's teeth is a wonder to me and others that can't do it.

The woman turned her nose up as I described some of the actions. I don't think she had noticed any of these traits, except for the crotch adjusting which she had noticed.
She said that a baseball field was the only place where she had seen men touch themselves.
I told her that her husband and son's are probably happy with that as well.
She laughed a little too hard. Then excused herself and said that she had to go home.
She said she'd be arriving there a little earlier than expected and started laughing again as she said good bye.