We know that injuries can come out of the blue.
Mariano Rivera could get hurt during batting practice.
Jonathon LuCroy could get hurt in his hotel room.
We can't stop these things from happening.
However, my friend and I were talking, and devised a list of questions for players before any season started to help fantasy grinders decide whether to draft them or not.
It's doubtful that any player would answer these questions truthfully. In fact I doubt any player will even answer these questions at all, but they are all questions that the fantasy baseball grinder would like to ask to optimize at bats for the next season...
Here they are....
For avoiding the bereavment list...
1.
Do you have any relatives that are terminally ill, near death, or over the age of 70, or perhaps a son or daughter who drives a little too fast?
For avoiding the paternity list....
2.
Do you have a significant other?
If yes- Is your significant other pregnant?
For avoiding a stupid injury....
3.
When pissed, do you feel the need to abuse water coolers or other inanimate objects with your bare hands?
For avoiding missing part of a game....
4.
Can you get your point across to an umpire without an ejection?
Avoiding The Youk Syndrome....
5.
Do you believe in playing through some pain, or only playing at 100%?
Avoiding The Chipper Syndrome....
6.
Do you have any chronic pain or injuries that will flare up for no apparent reason and at inopportune times?
Mannied and Melkied.....
7.
No PED's, right?
Rolened or Ripkened....
8.
Would you feel better playing 120 games and being well rested by the end of the year, or playing 162 and being dead tired?
A tired Trout or a well rested Bourjos....
9.
Are you better at 80% than the player replacing you at 100% ?
Would you tell your Manager that if he's thinking that you 'needed a rest' ?
Preventing the family emergency list....
10.
Is your family doing ok?
No divorce?
Do you have anybody close to you living in Venezuela?
Believe it or not, my friend tries to get in touch with folks who know these players or folks who know somebody who knows these players and always asks them to ask them question number 2.
Then he'll ask them to tell them to convey congratulations if so, and smugly moves that player down a bit on his draft list.
All this and he plays in free leagues.
I shake my head at his tenacity.
It's going just a bit too far for me.
But then again, he always smirks when I ask him to share the information.
