GEORGE CARLIN
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rockitsauce
- Posts: 1095
- Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:00 pm
GEORGE CARLIN
Sad day folks. The greatest (if not him it's Pryor) is gone forever. He will be missed.
Always be closing.
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Edwards Kings
- Posts: 5879
- Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2004 6:00 pm
- Location: Duluth, Georgia
GEORGE CARLIN
I am truly bummed. I grew up on Carlin and never stopped being a fan. A few Carlin quotes in memorial:
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man...living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front-row seat.
One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal," "Thou shalt not commit adultery," and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
"No comment" is a comment.
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, whey do we still have monkeys and apes?
Is there another word for "synonym"?
Would a fly without wings be called a "walk"?
If one synchonized swimmer drowns, do they rest have to drown, too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
[ June 23, 2008, 07:52 AM: Message edited by: Edwards Kings ]
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man...living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front-row seat.
One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal," "Thou shalt not commit adultery," and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
"No comment" is a comment.
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, whey do we still have monkeys and apes?
Is there another word for "synonym"?
Would a fly without wings be called a "walk"?
If one synchonized swimmer drowns, do they rest have to drown, too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
[ June 23, 2008, 07:52 AM: Message edited by: Edwards Kings ]
Baseball is a slow, boring, complex, cerebral game that doesn't lend itself to histrionics. You 'take in' a baseball game, something odd to say about a football or basketball game, with the clock running and the bodies flying.
Charles Krauthammer
Charles Krauthammer